Till I'm Gone
by Boondock Winchester
Summary: Gojyo and Goku's relationship comes to an impasse and Goku is pitted with the most difficult decision of his life. GokuxGojyo, GokuxSanzo / SEQUEL - Unlikely Romance / yaoi, lemons, limes, tiangle, hurt!Goku, protective!everyone else
1. Goku's Love

I AM BACK FROM THE GRAVE AND BETTER THAN EVER!  
Hi everyone. I'm back and do I have some stories to tell. Sorry for the wait. You would not believe the things that have happened to me over the past year. Absolutely insane! Ugh! But w/e. I'm here and that's all that matters now. So, as so many have requested, I am now starting a sequel to my story _Unlikely Romance_ pairing Goku and Gojyo. This story will be very centered on Goku's end of the relationship, though there will of course be the thoughts of everyone else. So this chapter is simply a refresher on my take on Goku's take on things. A Prologue, so to speak.

**!!!WARNING!!! - This story will have gay love, gay sex, a gay love triangle, and quite a bit of hurt!Goku with protective!everyone else.**

As usual, I am open to suggestions, ideas, questions, comments, whatever you feel has to be said. I will get the next chapter out as soon as I can. That's a promise!  
So, without further ado, here goes…

Love was a complicated subject for Goku. In a sense he loved everyone that didn't try to kill him on a daily basis, though he had a few exceptions. He may not have loved Kougaiji, but he harbored a deep respect for the demon prince and his followers. Hell, he even felt toward Homura, a demigod that tried to change his very foundation. It was a mere speck of emotion, but there was something there.

However he tried to spin it, there were three males that he could not denounce his feelings toward, nor did he ever want to. Three males that had made him who was to this day.

Cho Hakkai was his best friend, caretaker, and brother in every sense of the word. Hakkai had taught him, not necessarily through word of mouth but by example, that though the past can hold devastating occurrences, one should not let them overtake one's own being. That lesson in mind, Goku overcame his immense fear of isolation, of being left alone for eternity. And for that he was grateful.

Genjo Sanzo was someone very special to him. The priest had come for him when he was on the verge of insanity, the light shinning off the man washing over the boy, overpowering the shadows that hid in the corners of his abused heart. He treasured Sanzo more than he sometimes cared to admit. He had given Goku someone to defend, to feel useful for. He became someone Sanzo didn't have to protect, making himself stronger and more courageous. And for that, he was thankful.

Sha Gojyo was something entirely different to Goku. Gojyo was an idol, an aspiration. Gojyo had been rejected by the very woman that was supposed to care for him the most, watched Dokugakuji slay the only woman important to him to save his sibling. Although he carried around that guilt, that self-loathing, Gojyo was not ashamed of who or what he was. He freely told any who asked what he is, so long as they didn't ask in ill-graces. Though he had his low times, he didn't let them keep him down. He always bounced back. Goku learned from him who he wanted to be. He wanted to be someone that was not afraid to admit that he was in fact a heretic, denounced by the very gods themselves, neither human nor demon—a race all his own.

But Gojyo also gave Goku a sense of stability. He came to care for the taboo child a great deal, as much as he cared for Sanzo. Except that what he felt for the two men was actually very different. He couldn't quite put his finger on how or why, he just simply knew they were not one and the same. Since he had given up on Sanzo caring for him _that way_, Goku had let his love for Gojyo grow and it blossomed. So much so, that he ached whenever the red head went out in search of adult entertainment. Eventually, by what Goku liked to think of as a pure chance of fate, Gojyo expressed that he had come to care for Goku just as much, thus they began a whole new relationship. And for that, he owed everything.

He was very happy with Gojyo. He wouldn't trade it for anything. There was only one small thing that kept it from being absolutely perfect, however. Every once in a while, Goku would get a kind of pinch in the back of his mind, a reminder of the anomaly that was his affection for Sanzo. It was for this reason and this reason only that Goku desired his and Gojyo's relationship be kept a secret. Again, he wasn't entirely sure why, but he felt it best to keep this from his sun and Gojyo didn't seem to mind too much. He had said before that it made it more exciting, but just how long would that last?

It has now been two months since Gojyo and Goku have gotten together and both were very content with the other. Unfortunately, no secret can remain a secret, just as all good things must come to an end.


	2. The Calm Before the Storm

My dearest readers,

Okay, so I know half of you want to kill me and the other half would love nothing more than to make me suffer and I wish I could say that it wasn't my fault. But, it is partially my fault.

See, I had to go on a special journey to this top secret island…okay, I went on an extended vacation. My very best friend –more like my brother—recently died of a disease he had had for a while and I just needed to get away for a while. A long, long while, as in several months. I have been staying with relatives out of the state and recollecting myself. I rarely went on my computer, though an acquaintance friend of mine kind of took over my account for a while during my absence. I wrote a lot on paper but it was mostly just angry journals.

Okay, enough with the drama. I greatly apologize for the delay and though I do not feel comfortabfle promising that it will not happen again, I can say that I will do all I can to keep the waiting periods to a minimum.

But at least I'm paying you back for it with this first chapter. How is this payback you ask? Well you'll just have to read to find out.

All my love,

Amber

* * *

Goku felt his stomach muscles flex as he moaned. He loved Gojyo's kisses. Every kiss felt like fire on his skin and no amount was ever enough. And when Gojyo used his tongue, Goku might as well have gone to hell and back with how hot it made him.

Gojyo smiled—he knew he was the only one that could make Goku moan like that—as he brought his face back up to look into his lover's golden eyes. "I missed you."

"You missed the sex."

"That, too."

Goku smirked, shaking his head, as he leaned up for an open mouthed, passionate kiss. These he loved most of all.

Gojyo never got tired of kissing his Goku. The taste of sweet chocolates and bitter tea mingled with a flavor that was so utterly Goku was the perfect blend to satisfy his craving. He broke the kiss and slipped his first three fingers into Goku's mouth, before bringing them down under the covers.

Goku's face was one of slight pain as he felt Gojyo's finger penetrate him. Gojyo suckled and nibbled at the boy's neck, hoping to distract until the pleasure took over.

"Gojyo, we've done this enough times. I'll be fine."

"Been a while. Don't want to hurt you."

Goku's pain began to melt away when Gojyo inserted his second and began to scissor, stretching his rectum. "Won't hurt me. I need you."

"Just one more." He slowly inserted a third digit and curled his fingers, hitting the bundle of nerves that made Goku make the most delectable sound. "See this isn't so bad, is it?"

"Bite me."

"If you insist." Gojyo bent his head and took one of Goku's erect nipples between his teeth and pulled gently.

"Oh, God! I hate you."

Gojyo chuckled. "You have a funny way of showing it."

Goku glared up at him. "Just for that, I wanna be on top."

Gojyo's eyes widened. "What? Come on. We haven't been able to have sex in two weeks."

"If you don't want that time doubled, I'm on top." Goku may play innocent but he knew how to fight dirty with the best of them. "Besides, you know you love it. The feel of me going down on you with the full frontal view…"

Gojyo moaned at the visual of times passed. "Fuck." He pulled Goku to him and flipped their positions so Goku sat straddling his hips, their members dangerously close to touching. "You better make this a show."

Goku leaned down and licked at Gojyo's mouth. "I'll even give you an encore if you're up for it."

"Oh, hell yeah." Gojyo tried to pull Goku down for a kiss but the younger held back. When Gojyo raised a brow, Goku's smile became mischievous, and Gojyo knew that smile very well. That evil smile…

"But first, it's my turn to play."

"You cheeky little bast…" Gojyo's voice choked in his throat as Goku began to suck on the man's left nipple while his hand played with the other. "Shit. Love your mouth."

Goku hummed and Gojyo felt it in his bones, making him shiver. The feel of Goku's wet muscle anywhere on his body was like a drug he never got tired of. If he could, Gojyo would stop time and just let Goku have his way. Gojyo may like to be dominant, but Goku knew what the other liked and used that knowledge well. Goku was an excellent lover despite his childish tendencies.

When Goku finished with his actions, he pulled himself up so he was face to face with his bed partner. "You know what I love most about you?" he asked between kisses he laid all around Gojyo's mouth.

"Hmm?"

Goku reached up and touched around Gojyo's brow, causing him to open his crimson orbs.

"Your eyes. The way you look at me like you can already taste me, when you can't wait to get me behind closed doors. And when you look at me like you honestly can't believe that I'm yours. And I am." He laid a kiss on Gojyo's mouth. "Utterly and completely yours."

Gojyo liked when Goku talked dirty, but when he talked to him like this, making himself vulnerable and opening his heart to him, he felt like he was falling in love with Goku all over again.

"Like I said: love your mouth."

With that, Gojyo succeeded as he pulled Goku down by the nape of his neck and kissed him hard, making sure he would come back feeling bruised and owned.

Goku broke the kiss to lay a trail down Gojyo's throat, down his chest and abdomen, until he got to the nest of hair between his legs. Gojyo's heart sped up further, if at all possible. Goku smirked as he took Gojyo in his hand. "This is the other thing I love about you."

"And you call me a pervert." At least fthat's what Gojyo wanted to say but was unable to as Goku licked him from his base to the sensitive tip, rendering him breathless. All of the blood left his brain and traveled south as he tried with everything in him to keep his strength under control while one hand found its way into Goku's hair and the other gripped the sheets.

Goku chuckled and Gojyo's member jerked at the sound. "I almost forgot how sensitive you can be."

"You, too, ass-hole," Gojyo was able to get out between clenched teeth. He needed some kind of friction on his member or he felt like he was going to explode.

"You can remind me later." The second the words were out, Goku wrapped his lips around Gojyo's tip and sucked once, making the older man buck off the cot as the hand on the back of Goku's head stiffened. Goku brought more into his mouth until he felt the hairs at the base tickle his nose. It had taken him a few times to be able to take in all of Gojyo's length, but it was worth it for how much pleasure he knew it brought. Not to say Goku himself didn't enjoy it; he did, immensely. Gojyo's husky taste was like nectar to his taste buds and he felt his own erection harden.

Reaching down, Goku took himself in his hand and stroked a few times, using his pre-come as a makeshift lubricant, slickening his fingers. Then he inserted his fingers into his rectum, making sure to scrape his blunt nails over that luscious bundle of nerves. He hummed and Gojyo felt the vibrations in his member, making him moan, his voice shaking embarrassingly.

When Gojyo lifted his head to see Goku work, he noticed Goku's other hand and growled deep in his throat. "Thought that was my job."

Goku replied by coming up, grazing his teeth all along the vein on the underside of the swollen muscle and once he reached the top again, he flicked his tongue in the slit at the tip.

Gojyo knew he was getting dangerously close and he wanted to be inside Goku for the big moment. He hauled Goku back up so the younger was straddling him, once again. "You're such a fucking tease."

"You deserve it."

"You still owe me a show."

Goku smiled that smile again as he reached behind him and took Gojyo in his hand, guiding the hard muscle to his entrance, and slowly began his descent. Goku hissed in discomfort as Gojyo had to refrain with every bit of his self control not to buck his hips. Goku slowly slid lower and lower. He loved the feel of Gojyo inside him, stretching him, filling him. Finally, Goku found himself seated on flesh and bone, Gojyo fully sheathed within him. And it felt amazing. He waited only a few seconds before he raised himself up. When he felt the squeeze of Gojyo's hands on his hips, he went down again, absolute pleasure making his back bow as he emitted an erotic moan.

"Gojyo…" Goku whimpered.

Gojyo grunted in response, not able to focus on much more than the way his lover looked, bronze skin moist with sweat, muscles bare for his eyes to drink in greedily. "So beautiful, Goku."

Goku found a rhythm and drew himself up and down in Gojyo's lap, tension beginning to build in his stomach. "Ngh…feels so good."

As much as Gojyo loved Goku's body, there was something else he wanted to get lost in. "I want to see your eyes."

It took a minute for the message to make its way through Goku's pleasure-fogged mind but he obeyed, nonetheless.

Gojyo stared into Goku's eyes and felt as though he had fallen into a pool of molten lava. The look in Goku's eyes was so intense, he almost lost it right then. Hungry, passionate, lustful, sexy.

Goku chose then to drag his nails down Gojyo's chest and abdomen, making the marked man bow at the pain that mixed in with the pleasure. Finally, Gojyo couldn't take the steady rhythm anymore and gripped Goku's hips tightly, keeping him in one place and he raised his hips off the cot and drove himself into Goku fast and hard, making Goku scream out. "Gojyo!"

He began to make his own fast pace as he watched Goku get closer and closer to completion, making those wonderful gasping/whimpering noises Gojyo adored.

It wasn't much longer that Goku was able to force out in a sigh, "Gojyo…I'm…I'm gonna…."

"I know, baby. Come with me."

Only seconds later, Gojyo released himself within Goku's slick heat, groaning as he rode the wave of ecstasy.

The moment Goku felt Gojyo's seed let loose within him, he climaxed so intensely, he threw his head back and nearly screamed.

Gojyo forced his focus on Goku as he came between them. His back bowed, head back, and mouth open in a silent scream as he completed his high. Gojyo had never seen anything more beautiful and he memorized every blissful second.

Goku let himself drop onto Gojyo's chest, both breathing heavily, completely spent of any and all energy. They remained there for several minutes, not able to move so much as an inch.

"Told you," Goku finally said between puffs of air, "that you loved it."

"Still did half the work."

Goku swatted at his shoulder before he slowly removed Gojyo from himself and promptly fell onto the bed next to Gojyo, laying his head on the other's chest. "Annoying."

Gojyo used his arm to bring Goku tighter against himself. "Hmm. And does that make you love me any less?"

"Not a chance."

Gojyo smiled as he took in Goku's earthy scent. "So, about that encore…"

Goku chuckled. "You're insatiable."

"Only for you, love."

"Better be," Goku said in a yawn.

"Will an hour be enough?"

"You tell me. You'll be doing all the work."

Gojyo slid his hand to grip one of Goku's firm cheeks. "Smart-ass."

* * *

The next day found Goku and Gojyo quite ill-rested, neither nearly as energetic as they usually were. Hakkai kept his comments to himself, knowing their attempts at keeping their relationship a secret, though he had his suspicions that Sanzo had caught on a while ago even if he never bluntly let on that he knew anything at all.

"When will we get there?" Goku asked from the back seat.

Sanzo's brow twitched. "We just left the inn an hour ago. How could you be asking that already?"

"But Sanzo, it's hot and I'm tired."

"I'll put you to sleep," the priest mumbled as his hand went to reach for his infamous white fan.

"It shouldn't be long, Goku," Hakkai said amusingly from the driver's seat. "Why don't you take a nap?"

"Aww, is the poor baby in need of a little beauty sleep?" Gojyo teased.

"Shut up, water sprite. You need some way more than I ever could, not that it could possibly help you anyway. Anyone would be helpless with a mug like that."

"What'd you say to me, punk?"

"You heard me, jack-ass!"

"Try saying that to my face, monkey!"

"I just did, pervert!"

Hakkai chuckled as Sanzo finally stood and wacked them both. "You two shut up or I'll shut you up!"

The jeep quieted down a bit, aside from the usual banter, as they all listened to the droll sound of the vehicle, the only sound in the dessert-type land they were traveling through. It was a good several hours later when Hakkai spoke to the group again.

"Uh oh. Looks like we have some company."

The others looked ahead to see a city surrounded by a large wall with a fleet of demons guarding the entrance and they did not look like a welcoming party.

Sanzo sighed. "Why do they always have to make this difficult?"

"Life's no fun without surprises, wouldn't you agree?"

"Hakkai, for once, could you try not to look at the bright side of things and be a pessimist like the rest of the world?"

Goku smiled as he materialized his nyoi-bo. "I've been looking for some action. My muscles are getting stiff."

Sanzo crossed his arms and sat back. "I'll sit this one out."

Hakkai laughed. "Going to let Goku have all the fun this time?'

Gojyo smiled. "Might as well take a nap then."

Goku jumped out of the car. "More fun for me!"

* * *

Well, hope that was enough of a payback ^_^ I should have the next chapter out fairly soon: a week, give or take a few days. Reviews may speed up that process =p

See you all next time!


	3. The Fight

Okay everyone. Next chapter. I hope you all have your seatbelts on! Have fun!

It was just over an hour when the four of them made it in the town and to the nearest restaurant where Goku fell into his chair, heaving a great sigh.

"Ah, man. Those guys were a joke. I barely broke a sweat. What a bummer."

Hakkai sat across from him, Hakuryu sitting on his shoulder. "So does that mean you didn't work up much of an appetite this time?"

"Che. As if this black hole could eat less than a full herd of livestock," Gojyo said as he sat. "He's practically a giant stomach with legs."

"Hey! Don't talk about me like I'm not right next to you, you jack-ass!"

Sanzo's eye began to twitch as he shot off a few rounds in their general direction. "Not a good time."

Hakkai laughed. "Well, looks like we're in for a nice, peaceful dinner as usual."

Gojyo clapped his hand on the healer's shoulder. "Hakkai, my friend, I can only wish I had your kind of sanguinity."

Goku popped up as the waitress came by. "Miss! I'm ready to order!"

"What would you like, sugar?" she asked sweetly.

"I want two of those, and three of these, and definitely five orders of that! Oh, and ten of those!"

"Hey monkey, what did I tell you about cutting it down?"

Goku looked to Sanzo with his big, brown, puppy-dog eyes. "But I'm really hungry, Sanzo. Besides, I haven't eaten like this in a while. Come on Sanzo, please?"

The priest tried not to stare into the eyes but honestly, no one, not even Buddha himself could resist the eyes. Sanzo closed his eyes in defeat and rested his hand on Goku's head, that being answer enough.

Goku beamed at him with excitement and—

Gojyo's eyes narrowed. Was that adoration in his monkey's eyes? He looked from Goku to Sanzo: so distant, so uncaring. So why? He would never be able to understand why it was that Sanzo got so much of Goku being the bastard that he is and Gojyo had had to jump through hoops to get where he was with the twerp.

Then again...

Gojyo smiled mischievously to himself.

Then again, he was the one that got to share a bed with Goku. Victory: Gojyo - 1 , Sanzo - 0.

It was later that night after they all ate and played two games of mahjong that they all went to sleep, Goku and Gojyo having bugged the priest enough that he demanded he share a room with Hakkai. Mission accomplished.

The moment Gojyo closed the door, Goku was all over him. "It sucks not being able to kiss you all day," he said into Gojyo's mouth when he finally came up for air.

"We wouldn't have to hold out if you didn't want to keep it such a secret."

Goku bit his lip. "I know, but I'm just worried about this changing if we make a big deal out of it. I like it being a secret. Besides, it gives me something to look forward to."

Gojyo raised his brow roguishly. "You'll always have that to look forward to."

Goku smiled. "We will tell them. I promise. Just not right now. Let's wait a little longer."

Gojyo searched Goku's ever tell-tale eyes for any hidden messages. Finding none, he leaned down and placed a kiss on Goku's lips. "If that's what you want."

Goku nodded and rested his head on Gojyo's chest. It wasn't long before Goku let out a yawn.

Gojyo chuckled. "Bed time."

Goku groaned. "I'm comfy here."

"It's more comfortable on the nice fluffy bed."

The boy sighed before he smiled up at Gojyo. He stepped away and went to mess the other bed making it appear that someone had slept in it so in the morning, if anyone, mostly Sanzo, knocked on the door unannounced, it would be one less worry.

They double and triple checked that the door was locked, undressed, and climbed into bed and into each other's arms for a nice, long, well deserved rest.

Goku snuggled against Gojyo's chest and sighed contentedly when he was situated. Gojyo placed a kiss on the boy's hair, whispering into his ear, "Goodnight, love."

"'Night."

Goku didn't have to wait too terribly long for Gojyo's breath to even out, evidence that he was asleep. He looked up into the sleeping man's face and smiled. He was glad that Gojyo was willing to put off telling the others, but…

His expression turned somber as he snuggled back into his previous position.

But just how long was the taboo child willing to wait?

Gojyo woke to the feel of something shifting against his skin. He looked down and smiled when he saw Goku squirming in his arms, rubbing his face against the older man's clothed chest. He rubbed his hand up and down Goku's arm softly, letting him sleep.

He took that time to look out the window, gauging the best he could around what time it was. He figured early morning. Sanzo and Hakkai would be up soon. They still had a little time to bask, and bask he would.

He started thinking about the previous night, the way look of endearment in Goku's eyes when he looked at Sanzo. Someone didn't look at another that way if the said person didn't harbor some kind of feelings for the target, right? He looked back down to Goku's sleeping face and wondered. He knew there was some kind of emotional attachment to the priest, but he couldn't help but wonder how long Goku had cared for the priest? Better yet how long Goku had cared for the priest compared to how long he had cared for Gojyo. And if the feelings were the same, whether he cared for one more than the other. He groaned. This was become way more complicated than he ever thought it could.

He tried not to think about it for the next several minutes but it was proving to be rather difficult. Eventually, Goku began to stir, waking up slowly and moaning from the light coming in the window. "You're awake. About time."

"Please tell me it's still dark outside," Goku mumbled as he tried to bury his face further into Gojyo's chest.

Gojyo smiled as he released his captor and looked down into the other's smiling face and kissed him. However, the one question that had been rolling around in his head since he had woken that morning to a blissfully sleeping Goku started to haunt him once again. He couldn't push it off to the side any longer. He had to at least voice it to get it off his chest.

Changing his position so he was still somewhat hovering over Goku, Gojyo sat on his hip and leaned on his extended right arm, his left still possessively on Goku's lower waist. "Goku, there's something I was wondering about."

Goku noticed the serious undertones in his lover's face and remained silent, allowing him to say what seemed so important to him.

Gojyo thought over his words carefully and looked Goku directly in his eyes. "How long have you liked me?"

Goku blinked at the unexpected question. "I've always liked you."

Gojyo sweatdropped, though he was still quite amused at the innocent nature of the answer. Hell, it was one of the main reasons he was so drawn to Goku. "No, I mean, how long have you loved me?"

Goku paused at this for almost a full minute just staring at Gojyo with the same expression that gave away nothing as to what he was thinking. Gojyo's mouth dried as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. The silence was driving him crazy. He could swear he never saw Goku blink once. It was actually kind of creepy. He was just about to voice as such when Goku beat him to it.

"I don't really know."

"What?" Gojyo had not been expecting that as an answer. He couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed and oddly rejected.

Goku looked to the side as though thinking. "I can't pinpoint the exact time I realized I loved you. Although, as I think about it, I guess it just kind of built up after a while. But one thing I definitely remember was how confused I was for a long time."

"Confused? About what?"

"How I felt. Don't get mad, but I used to think I was in love with Sanzo." He felt Gojyo stiffen at that statement, especially the hand that was still gripping his side. "But it was just for a while," he said as he sat up in the same position Gojyo had adopted. "It was mostly before we ever even met you or Hakkai. Actually, it was around then that I started to feel really weird sometimes. Like I was hungry but any food I thought about didn't seem appetizing. It used to get me really angry. But then I asked Sanzo what that meant."

"And what…did he say?" Gojyo was prepared for the worst. He wasn't sure he would ever really be able to look at the monk with a straight face again.

"He said, 'Next time you feel that way, take a moment and see where you are and who you're with. Then think carefully about each and every thing you see. Maybe things will be a bit clearer for you if you look at them individually than all at the same time.' So, the next time I felt that way, I did what he said. I thought about everything without actually understanding why I was doing it. It felt pointless. But then when I thought about you…I don't know. I just felt different, like my face would get hot and my stomach would feel like it had fallen off a cliff without me. I didn't understand at the time. But after I thought about it a while, I finally realized that I was in love with you."

Gojyo looked at Goku's smiling face in wonder. He had felt all that just from thinking about him? It seemed like such a crazy idea but he felt like he had fallen in love with Goku all over again.

Goku's smile seemed to dissolve quickly after a few moments. "Did I say something wrong?"

Gojyo was shaken from his dreamlike state. "What? No, I…"

"It's just that now you're looking at me like I'm crazy."

Gojyo remained silent for a few seconds before he closed his eyes and smiled. "No, you're not crazy. I was just thinking. Sure did take you a while to let me know," he said in a teasing manner.

Goku looked at Gojyo's happy face before he asked. "What about you?"

"Huh?"

"You know. How long have you loved me?"

Gojyo leaned in and pressed his brow to Goku's in a loving manner. "Just shy of two years, now."

"Two years?" Goku asked as he pulled away.

Gojyo held his smile. "About."

Goku's face was shocked as he stared at Gojyo. "Two _whole_ years?"

Gojyo now started to catch on that Goku might not have been exactly happy about his answer. "I guess. What's the matter?"

"What's the matter?"

"You know, if you keep repeating everything I say, the conversation is going to take twice as long."

"You've liked me for two years!"

"Loved, not liked, and I thought that was a good thing."

"Well yeah, normally it would be."

"Normally? What do you mean?"

Goku groaned and moved to the edge of the bed as he picked up and put on his pants.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Goku stood and started looking around for his shirt. "I'm going to find Sanzo."

"What? Why?" Gojyo stood, putting on his jeans hurriedly.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because I want to."

"No, it' more than that. Why are you mad?" Gojyo asked as he grabbed Goku's wrist.

Goku, however, jerked out of his hold. "Because of you!"

Gojyo blinked at Goku's outburst. "Me? What did I do?" He took a step toward Goku's back but he stopped as he saw his shoulders start to shake.

Goku's fists clenched as he stared at the floor. He was silent for a long time until he finally started to speak softly. "Do you know why I waited so long to let you know I loved you?"

"Shyness?" Gojyo asked in an almost hopeful manner still utterly confused about what was going on.

"It was because I was afraid."

This struck Gojyo as odd. Goku was never scared of anything, even of dying it seemed at times. "Afraid of what?"

"Of this…not happening or…or…not working."

If Gojyo was confused before he was utterly baffled now. He was lucky if he could put a single word together with as scrambled as his brain was.

"If you've liked…loved me for so long, why didn't you ever tell me? Drop a hint? Anything?"

"I could very well say the same for you."

Goku turned to glare at Gojyo. "But I wasn't the one gallivanting every night with random women!"

Gojyo was taken aback. "Is that what this is about?"

"Yes. No…I mean…sort of."

Gojyo crossed his arms as he spit out sarcastically, "Oh good. I was so worried you were going to be extremely vague in your answer."

Goku's lips tightened in a grim line as he sighed. "If you wanted to be with me, why weren't you?"

"Again, I could ask you the very same question."

Now Goku was getting annoyed and Gojyo knew that when he got annoyed…let's just say good things didn't happen.

"If you loved _me_, why did—" His voice started to crack. He closed his eyes to compose himself before continuing. "Why did you have to go be with _them_? Do you have any idea how I felt when every time you were assigned to room with me you would leave me alone thinking about someone else being with you? Their eyes on you? Their hands on you?" He paused as tears gathered in his eyes. "Your hands on them?"

Gojyo saw the accusation and blame in Goku's eyes but what he saw the most was the raw pain that hid behind them. It hit him hard; harder than he would have thought possible.

"I'll tell you," Goku hissed. "I felt miserable and angry. But the worst part was that I felt so completely rejected. If I felt this way before I even confessed my feelings for you, what was the point? Why should I even bother to tell you since you obviously hated me to begin?"

"I never hated you!"

"What else was I supposed to think?" he asked desperately. "Tell me what else I was supposed to think when the nicest side I ever saw of you was your back!"

"How do you think I felt with you always pining over Sanzo?"

"What? Don't change the subject!"

Gojyo glared. "Cut the crap! You know that every time he was hurt, you would pour your heart and soul into doing whatever it took to get him better. But did you ever do that for me, the one you claim to love, even once? Huh?"

"Don't do this," Goku said softly, shaking his head. "That's different."

"Oh, really? Mind explaining that?"

Goku turned away. "It's none of your business."

"It became my business when you jumped in my bed."

"That was my bed, jack-ass! And don't you dare put that blame on me!"

"I see. So it's okay for you to play the blame game but the second I decide to put in my two cents, you say I'm disqualified?"

"You know that's not true! It's just…it…" he sighed. "It's complicated."

"I'm sure it is," Gojyo ground out with a glower.

Goku winced at the force of the hidden insult.

Gojyo cursed under his breath as he fisted his fingers through his hair.

The silence was deafening as they both stood still for several minutes, the tenseness growing thicker  
with each breath.

Gojyo lifted his head and took a deep lungful of air as he asked, "Answer me one question."

Goku looked up, his glare still set on his features.

Gojyo turned to look at Goku but he couldn't bring himself to look into the boy's eyes, saying each word with precision and purpose. "Do you still love him?"

Goku blinked in shock. That was the last thing he expected to come out of Gojyo's mouth. "You can't—"

"Answer the damn question, Goku."

Goku felt his mind go completely blank. What was he supposed to say? He opened and closed his mouth torn between answers. Finally, he came to the conclusion. "I don't…know."

Gojyo felt a stab of rejection and sheer jealousy deep into his core. He didn't even try to keep them from his face. Closing his eyes he held in the urge to scream in complete rage. "Then you had better find out because you can't care for the both of us."

Goku's eyes widened. He wasn't suggesting he…

"Decide," Gojyo said with a shaky voice. "Right now. Right here. Choose who you are willing to love."

Goku felt the blood drain from his face. "You're making me choose between you and _Sanzo_?"

Gojyo's face was set in stone as he awaited his answer. "Decide."

"Gojyo—"

"Decide!"

"I can't!" Goku wailed.

Gojyo's expression became dark as he turned to leave. "That's answer enough."

"No it's not!" Goku rushed forward and took Gojyo's arm. "Gojyo, please! I love you, I do! It's just with Sanzo, it…"

"I don't want to hear it."

"What?" Goku froze as he looked up to Gojyo with misty eyes.

Gojyo's face was dark and filled with betrayal and hurt. "You've made your decision. Now you have to live with it."

With that, he slipped from Goku's hold and closed the door behind him, leaving the boy frozen in his bubble of shock, disbelief, and anguish.

I know, I know. Some of you want me dead. But I promise, this opens all kinds of doors for all kinds of things to happen. And trust me, they will happen.

See you guys soon!


End file.
